InsaneHydraulics - Sergiy Sydorenko © 2009-2010 All Ridghts Reserved
This is an imaginary situation test. If you can NOT imagine yourself in
a workshop or field environment, then you probably think hydraulics is
that cool something to make them lowriders jump, which is true to some
extent, but also means that this site is not for you. Sorry, hands-on is mandatory
you work in a hydraulic workshop and you proudly call yourself a
“technician”. Of course, being a highly trained professional you cope
with lots of different tasks on a daily basis, you know what a gear
pump is (has gears inside) and how to tell left (the watch hand) from right
(the watchless hand). Pump repair, in fact, is something you do quite often.
Then one beautiful day an axial-piston pump of some crazy brand you
have never seen before is brought to your workshop for YOU to repair.
It's a 100 kilogram steel scary-looking dirt-covered bastard with a
shaft at one end and some hydraulic connections and hoses all around
it, dripping oil all over your workshop, and when you put it on a
pallet it cracks the pallet and leaves an amber oil pool on the
What are your further actions? (Pick one, be honest...)
1.You try to lift it to put it on your bench, get a severe
back injury and two months of intensive physiotherapy. You quit the job
2.You try to lift it to put it on your bench with a
forklift, it falls down and bends the shaft end (cracks the casing,
etc..). If your supervisor didn't see it, you tell him that it had
already been this way, then proceed to No3. If he saw it, you tell him
the forklift sucks and must be replaced. Your supervisor's hair is
3.You look at it from one side and scratch your mug, then
you look at it from another side and scratch your ass. You spend
half an hour walking around it, looking at it from all possible angles,
mumbling something like “them sons of bitches, would bring anything
here these days...” Then you spend another hour or so marking
everything on the pump from top to bottom with white paint (red paint,
yellow paint, permanent industrial marker, etc...), making it look like some
Indian chief preparing for war. Then you spend the rest of the day
disassembling it. You don't disassemble the pump's control as “it's
something not to tamper with”. In the end you call your shop supervisor
to evaluate the pumps condition, and when he asks you if it is a closed
loop pump you look at him and confirm that this IS a pump and not
a motor (you are pretty sure of it as you overheard the client say so),
he sighs and doesn't ask you any more questions. His hair is most
4.You have the pump stripped down within the hour.
Most of the parts are there, maybe a spring or two missing, but they
were small and insignificant, so you feel pretty pleased with yourself,
as you are far more faster then the guy from No3. You don't
disassemble the pump's control as “it's something not to tamper with
and has never been done before”. The cloth that client had shoved into
the suction line "for transportation purposes" is still there. In the
end you call your shop supervisor to evaluate the pumps condition, and
when he asks you what is wrong with the pump you tell him that you
don't know and it's not your job to know such stuff, but you are
pretty sure that some malfunction occurred. He sighs and doesn't ask
you any more questions. A week later the cleaning lady finds a spring
under your bench and gives it to you. You put it in the special drawer
of your bench. You have been considering to ask your boss for a bigger drawer
as this one is getting full. Your supervisor's hair is Grey.
5. Out of curiosity you pull out the cloth shoved
into the suction line - the pool on the floor suddenly becomes bigger.
You think: “what a f*cking big suction line that is” which also means that
you fully understand it's an open loop pump. After that you notice the
pumps brand. You partially disassemble the control and are curious to know
how it works, you also notice that there's a stuck spool in it. When
you ask your supervisor about it, he says you shouldn't have tampered
with such a delicate thing and looks at you as if you had betrayed all
that's saint to him. You sigh. The complete rotary group is
replaced. As you feel sorry for the client you get the spool unstuck,
though you don't understand what it is there for. If your hair isn't
Grey yet, but it's going to get so pretty early.
6. You have enough experience to evaluate the pump's
condition and your opinion most of the times coincides with that of
your supervisor's. However you would question some of the opinions you
hear, as they sometimes don't make sense to you. Both you and your
shop's foreman find the stuck spool. He tells you it's some kind of
crazy Japanese control. You are pretty sure its something else (let him
save the face and listen politely). Both of you agree that the stuck
spool is the problem that had brought this pump to the shop. The pump
still gets a new rotary group as commission's commission and the client
has deep pockets. The foreman's hair is still Grey because of the No3
7. You don't work at any shop but own hydraulics
machinery. After having read the above you start to doubt if the recent
5k eur excavator pump overhaul was really so necessary...
If you answered:
1. This site is absolutely not for you. Consider getting a good medical insurance though...
2. Someday you might hurt yourself or others. Use a crash helmet at all times. The rest is the same as No3
3. Your case is very severe, but there's hope. You lack basics. Try to
read one article, if it seems Chinese learn basics first, don't waste
your time here otherwise.
4. "Fast and Furious" is your favorite movie. Congratulations! The rest is the same as No3.
5. Typical case of "mentally challenged" boss vs smart employee. You
probably do lots of overtime. Read, man, the world will be ours!!!
6. Typical case of smart but constantly busy boss vs smart employee.
Leave the bossing for the boss and the technical part for yourself, at
least for now. Definitely will find something interesting here. If
you're smart enough you'll be your own boss pretty soon.
7. Yeah, about that overhaul... It probably was necessary, it most
probably could've cost you less... But if you have read so far, you are
curious to the point that you might actually find something interesting here and
eventually learn how to save a buck or two in the future.
In other words - you must have basic hydraulics
knowledge and experience to fully appreciate the articles. You can
start with The Most Basic Basics.
If you still can not relate to workshop or field
environment, but have read so far, you are either a studying
theoretician, which leaves you a remote chance to find something
useful here, or you are not reading this right now.